From Bananas to Phoenix

I never said that I was Joe Camper and I never even tried to fake it that I knew what I was doing while camping a week back.  My spiritual camping leader and very capable camping guide, Chris, took the lead for sure and I followed — except for the tent which I will take full props for — The triumph of my camping career.

So what does that have to do with Bananas you ask?  Well, it was the morning of the departure for our camping trip and I was thinking ahead — like, what am I going to eat on this outing?  We had no room to pack a stove, nor any cooking utensils or even bulky food.  Ok, so other than a camp fire, what is the food intake?  Of course, my staple is Jerky.  I just love the shit.  I have eaten it probably 5 or 6 times on this trip for lunch or a tasty dinner.  Next, we need fruit so we don’t get scurvy right?  So I scan around at the dirty breakfast kitchen from the dirty motel and decide to take 4 bananas, pack them in my bag and…  ta-da —  a vitamin rich and healthy sweet treat after my Jerky dinner.  Yummy.

Chris watched this go down and asked if I was taking the bananas on the trip — I proudly admitted so.  He gave me one of those looks like — your an idiot and lets see what happens.  In fact, he did say that it may not be the best idea.  I told him that I have this covered.  Bananas have skin to keep the sweet, fleshy goodness inside.  Don’t worry.

Without reflecting too much in the past, we (I) worked hard that day on the bike, I think I fell about 10 times and we finally settled late dusk at the chosen camp site — by the very north shore of Lake Powell.  I’m so excited to camp — I pitch the tent proudly and start unpacking my bags happily.  And then…  I know you guessed it — BANANAS EVERYWHERE.  Ever single article of clothing, my bag, my lights, my hat and my jerky…  Everything is covered in mushy and sticky banana and worse, little bits blended deeply into the fabric of everything.  Did I say sticky?  Fucking no way — Fucking yes way.  Chris had a great time reminding me about my banana situation for the next 4 days.  I deserved it.

That little error in judgement cost me $50 in cleaning bills.  Most of the articles were needed on a daily basis.

The next camping issue was not as big but was an affair for a few hours.  Just before going to sleep, and I was so bushed that I could have slept within 2 minutes but…  Chris happened to tell me that Britt had told him that their were bears in the area — local knowledge is helpful.  That’s all I had to hear and I was screwed for the next 2 hours.  Each time I heard something outside my tent —  Yah, its a bear.  If he had not told me that, it would never cross my mind that the desert would have bears.   Worse, I had real sweet smelling bananas in my tent!  Not only that — I had lots of that shit, like I would guess, a couple pounds of banana aroma.  For sure a bear will smell that.  I take action an hour in to the ordeal by putting the bananas in a bag and tucking them in my boots — then cover it with my jacket.  There,  now its harder for a bear to smell the luscious treat — Rats, I’m sure the bear will smell it…  2 hours…. Anyway, in the morning after, I told Chris about my lack of sleep and the reason.  Of course he had a huge belly laugh — he told me that the bear thing was bullshit.  Its too cold and not the season in that area.  Britt was just messing around.  Oh.

Just a quick catch up on my travels.  I left Utah a few days ago and rode the 6 hours to Las Vegas to decompress a bit.  Went from 35 degree incredibly cold mountain weather to 80 plus degree desert — but through outstanding vistas and even cutting across the massive canyons.  Anyway, I spent a great 3 days in Vegas — chilling, sitting in the sports book, two buffets later and all was good.

Today, I rode the 5 hours from Vegas to Phoenix (Scottsdale) to hang here for a bit.  I’m not really a big fan of Phoenix, but hey, who cares, its a great ride and it adds to the experience of moving around.  Tomorrow I’m getting my oil and brake fluid changed at the local BMW dealer here.  I have put on over 4,500 miles (about 7,250 km’s) so far on this trip.

Caught up now.